In the recent case involving Aziz Ansari, his date said she used “clear non-verbal clues” to indicate that she wasn’t comfortable with the sexual activities they engaged in. But those clues may not have been clear to Ansari. No one who wasn’t in the room that night can know what really happened. Maybe she was […]
The Key Fact Women Need to Know about Hook-Ups
If you’re a young woman, you may embrace your sexuality. You know your sexual feelings are healthy and beautiful, nothing to be ashamed of. You know how awesome your body is and how wonderful it can feel. Just like the guys, you’re free to experiment with both relational and casual sex. Having the option for […]
Caught between “Uptight” and “Slut”
It’s a tough time to be a teenager. That’s true in a lot of ways, of course. But one big challenge for girls, especially, is navigating the mixed messages they get from peers about sex. On the one hand, a girl who sleeps with too many partners may be called a “slut”—whatever “too many” means […]
TalkStarter: What Does “Sexually Empowered” Mean?
A lot of female celebrities lead with their sexuality. Think performers with low-cut tops, skirts that barely cover butts, and dance moves that you’d associate with strip clubs. Think starlets who “accidentally” release nude photos, or celebrities who’ve built or boosted mainstream careers using video of themselves having sex. Many of these women claim that […]
What Young People Wish They’d Known Earlier about Sex
There’s a ton of information out there for teens and young adults today. Between sex ed at school, on-line resources, sexually active friends, chat rooms, and pornography, you might think that young people know everything they need to about sex. But it turns out, they don’t. When I asked 900 young adults (age 18 to […]
Ready for Sex? How to Know
For most people, deciding when to have sex—the first time with a new partner, or especially the first time ever—is a significant decision. Becoming sexually intimate with someone can change your relationship. Sometimes, it’ll even change you. Plus, it’s hard to tell what the effects will be. For some people, sex, even the first time, […]
7 Destructive Myths that May Be Hurting Your Sex Life
Of course, you know not to believe everything you see on TV or read on the internet. But sometimes it can be hard to know what is and isn’t true. When you see or hear something again and again, you may start to believe it—even if you shouldn’t. This is especially true when it comes […]
A New Definition of Virginity?
The whole idea of virginity has undergone a cultural shift. It’s still a big deal for most people, but it’s not the be-all-and-end-all it once was (especially for women). Like so much about sexuality, even the definition of “virgin” isn’t as clear as it used to be. For most people, it still means what it […]
TalkStarter: Politics, “Locker-Room Language,” and Respect
Part of me hesitates to say anything that touches on this emotionally charged election season. But so much of what’s been going on lately relates to how people treat one another sexually that I can’t ignore it—and neither should parents. It truly is a talk-able moment. Whatever your political views, the recent uproar about Donald […]
What We Can Learn from Loud Porn Stars
If you’ve ever viewed pornography, you know that the women in it don’t tend to be quiet in the sack. They may acquiesce to a man’s desires/demands without speaking up; they may object to whatever he wants and later give in. But once they do give in, they’re plenty vocal in their enthusiasm. (There’s plenty […]