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TalkStarter for Teens: What Counts as “Having Sex”?

April 9, 2020 by Jill Whitney

When we talk about having sex, what, exactly, are we talking about? On one level, this may seem obvious. Most often we mean sexual intercourse: penis-in-vagina (PIV) sex. But if you stop to think about it, isn’t there a lot more to people’s sexual experiences? Is PIV the only thing that counts as sex? This […]

Filed Under: Everyone, Featured, For Parents of Teens and Preteens, TalkStarters Tagged With: parenting teens, sexuality, teens

Please, LinkedIn, Don’t Block My Posts

February 26, 2020 by Jill Whitney

The other day I was chatting with a friend I don’t see often but with whom I’m friends on LinkedIn. He said something about it being lucky his company’s filters didn’t block my “uh…interesting posts.” He meant, of course, what I write about sexuality and especially the importance of talking about intimacy and sexual health […]

Filed Under: Everyone, Featured, For Parents of Teens and Preteens, For Parents of Young Children Tagged With: intimacy, relationships, sex, sexual health

When You Want to Make Love (Not Just Have Sex)

December 11, 2019 by Jill Whitney

“Making love” used to be a euphemism for having sex, back when people tried to avoiding saying “sex” (unless they were referring to gender). Now, we talk about sex in so many ways that “making love” sounds sort of quaint. But it’s quaint in a good way—like building a wood fire or playing a board […]

Filed Under: Everyone, Featured Tagged With: couples, love, love-making, relationships, sex

Should Busy Couples Schedule Sex?

October 29, 2019 by Jill Whitney

Your lives are super-busy. What with jobs, taking care of the kids, dealing with the house, and just daily life, you hardly get any time alone with your partner. Even when you do, one or both of you may be so wiped out that sex just isn’t happening. That’s the reality…but it rots. You aren’t […]

Filed Under: Everyone, Featured, For Parents of Teens and Preteens, For Parents of Young Children Tagged With: couples, date night, intimacy, parents, relationships, sex

What Good Guys Need to Know about Consent

October 15, 2019 by Jill Whitney

There’s been a lot in the news about sexual predators like Jeffrey Epstein taking advantage of many, many girls. You may also have heard that a fairly small percentage of college men are responsible for a disproportionate percentage of campus sexual assaults. It’s relatively few people (almost all of them male) make a habit, even […]

Filed Under: Everyone, Featured, For Parents of Teens and Preteens Tagged With: college, consent, guys, sex, sexual assault, teens

TalkStarter for Adults: The Funny Side of the Birds & the Bees

September 17, 2019 by Jill Whitney

If you’re feeling awkward about telling your kids about the birds and the bees, or even talking with your partner about sex, let a little humor help you through. Think about children you’ve known over the years: your own, or a friend’s children, or kids you knew growing up. What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever […]

Filed Under: Everyone, Featured, For Parents of Teens and Preteens, For Parents of Young Children, TalkStarters Tagged With: birds and bees, kids, parenting, sex ed

If Your Partner Is Perfect, Don’t Get Married

August 27, 2019 by Jill Whitney

When you hear someone say the person they’re dating is perfect, you might be happy for them. Me, I’m happy they’re happily in love—but my second thought is, please don’t get married. At least, not yet. Because no one is perfect. Someone might be an awesome person and an excellent fit for you, but they […]

Filed Under: Everyone, Featured Tagged With: commitment, dating, love, marriage, relationships

How College Kids Really Feel about Hookups

August 13, 2019 by Jill Whitney

The whole hookup trend fascinates me. I get that for some people, sex with no strings can be fun and exciting. But most of the young people I talk with either don’t have much casual sex or don’t really like it when they do. So how did hooking up get to be such a big […]

Filed Under: Everyone, Featured, For Parents of Teens and Preteens Tagged With: college, hookups, sexuality

How (Casual) Sex Is Like Ice Cream

June 25, 2019 by Jill Whitney

Ice cream is awesome, right? I’m not a big dessert person, but ice cream…well, it’s hard to resist. Still, I eat ice cream far less often than I’d like to because I don’t like the consequences. Unlike my cousin Bert, one of those lucky, lots-of-exercise people who can eat whatever he wants without gaining weight, […]

Filed Under: Everyone, Featured, For Parents of Teens and Preteens Tagged With: intimacy, relationships, self-care, sex

TalkStarter for Adults: How Do You Rate the 3 Parts of Romantic Love?

May 30, 2019 by Jill Whitney

We all have a sort of vague idea of what “romantic love” means. But there are folks who think about love for a living (really!) who can help the rest of us find language to understand and express what we feel—and what we want. Cornell professor Robert J. Sternberg developed what he calls the “Triangle […]

Filed Under: Everyone, Featured Tagged With: commitment, dating, intimacy, love, marriage, relationships

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Your Teen Is Online. Porn Is Online. Time to Talk?

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TalkStarter for Teens: What Counts as “Having Sex”?

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TalkStarter for Kids: When a Pet Has a Litter

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Please, LinkedIn, Don’t Block My Posts

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The 3 Most Important Things to Tell Kids about Puberty

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When You Want to Make Love (Not Just Have Sex)

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My Toddler Touches…Down There. Should I Worry?

Should Busy Couples Schedule Sex?

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What Good Guys Need to Know about Consent

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The Smart Way to Protect Kids’ Innocence

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About the Author

Jill Whitney is a licensed marriage and family therapist dedicated to improving communication about relationships, sexuality, and intimacy. Learn more about her and her practice at Green Tree Professional Counseling.

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