When we talk about having sex, what, exactly, are we talking about? On one level, this may seem obvious. Most often we mean sexual intercourse: penis-in-vagina (PIV) sex. But if you stop to think about it, isn’t there a lot more to people’s sexual experiences? Is PIV the only thing that counts as sex? This […]
Everyone
Please, LinkedIn, Don’t Block My Posts
The other day I was chatting with a friend I don’t see often but with whom I’m friends on LinkedIn. He said something about it being lucky his company’s filters didn’t block my “uh…interesting posts.” He meant, of course, what I write about sexuality and especially the importance of talking about intimacy and sexual health […]
When You Want to Make Love (Not Just Have Sex)
“Making love” used to be a euphemism for having sex, back when people tried to avoiding saying “sex” (unless they were referring to gender). Now, we talk about sex in so many ways that “making love” sounds sort of quaint. But it’s quaint in a good way—like building a wood fire or playing a board […]
Should Busy Couples Schedule Sex?
Your lives are super-busy. What with jobs, taking care of the kids, dealing with the house, and just daily life, you hardly get any time alone with your partner. Even when you do, one or both of you may be so wiped out that sex just isn’t happening. That’s the reality…but it rots. You aren’t […]
What Good Guys Need to Know about Consent
There’s been a lot in the news about sexual predators like Jeffrey Epstein taking advantage of many, many girls. You may also have heard that a fairly small percentage of college men are responsible for a disproportionate percentage of campus sexual assaults. It’s relatively few people (almost all of them male) make a habit, even […]
TalkStarter for Adults: The Funny Side of the Birds & the Bees
If you’re feeling awkward about telling your kids about the birds and the bees, or even talking with your partner about sex, let a little humor help you through. Think about children you’ve known over the years: your own, or a friend’s children, or kids you knew growing up. What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever […]
If Your Partner Is Perfect, Don’t Get Married
When you hear someone say the person they’re dating is perfect, you might be happy for them. Me, I’m happy they’re happily in love—but my second thought is, please don’t get married. At least, not yet. Because no one is perfect. Someone might be an awesome person and an excellent fit for you, but they […]
How College Kids Really Feel about Hookups
The whole hookup trend fascinates me. I get that for some people, sex with no strings can be fun and exciting. But most of the young people I talk with either don’t have much casual sex or don’t really like it when they do. So how did hooking up get to be such a big […]
How (Casual) Sex Is Like Ice Cream
Ice cream is awesome, right? I’m not a big dessert person, but ice cream…well, it’s hard to resist. Still, I eat ice cream far less often than I’d like to because I don’t like the consequences. Unlike my cousin Bert, one of those lucky, lots-of-exercise people who can eat whatever he wants without gaining weight, […]
TalkStarter for Adults: How Do You Rate the 3 Parts of Romantic Love?
We all have a sort of vague idea of what “romantic love” means. But there are folks who think about love for a living (really!) who can help the rest of us find language to understand and express what we feel—and what we want. Cornell professor Robert J. Sternberg developed what he calls the “Triangle […]
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