When you hear someone say the person they’re dating is perfect, you might be happy for them. Me, I’m happy they’re happily in love—but my second thought is, please don’t get married. At least, not yet. Because no one is perfect. Someone might be an awesome person and an excellent fit for you, but they […]
TalkStarter for Adults: How Do You Rate the 3 Parts of Romantic Love?
We all have a sort of vague idea of what “romantic love” means. But there are folks who think about love for a living (really!) who can help the rest of us find language to understand and express what we feel—and what we want. Cornell professor Robert J. Sternberg developed what he calls the “Triangle […]
Casual Sex: Is It Right for You?
Sometimes it seems like everyone is having sex with lots of people they hardly know. That’s actually not the case; many people choose physical intimacy only when they feel emotionally intimate. Other people have sex casually and love it; others hook up and don’t really like it. One size does not fit all. The key […]
Ghosting, Other Dating Trends, and Humans
Halloween ghosts I’m good with. On real ghosts—spirits who haven’t crossed to the other side—I try to keep an open mind. But ghosting in relationships? That brings out the judgmental in me. In case you’ve missed it, “ghosting” is a “dating trend.” (More later on why I put that in quotes.) It’s when a person […]
Should I Wait for “The One”?
People who are looking for a relationship often wonder how they’ll know when they’ve found the perfect partner, The One of all the people in the world with whom they’ll have years of bliss. We’ve all seen the movies; we know how it’s supposed to go. You may be dating, even engaged, to a pretty […]
The Under-Appreciated Joys of Anticipation
We live in a world of immediate gratification. We want to watch the next episode now, we want our package delivered today, we get antsy if we have to wait in line for more than a few seconds. I understand the feeling; there’s always so much to do that waiting can feel like a waste. […]
When Your Body Language Says “No”
In the recent case involving Aziz Ansari, his date said she used “clear non-verbal clues” to indicate that she wasn’t comfortable with the sexual activities they engaged in. But those clues may not have been clear to Ansari. No one who wasn’t in the room that night can know what really happened. Maybe she was […]
Dating? How Not to Blow Gift-Giving
I started dating my S.O. about a month before Christmas—talk about an awkward situation for gift-giving. I don’t remember what I gave him, but I still remember what he gave me: frozen peaches. To which you are quite reasonably saying, “Seriously??” He gave them with some trepidation; I remember he said something about them having […]
The Key Fact Women Need to Know about Hook-Ups
If you’re a young woman, you may embrace your sexuality. You know your sexual feelings are healthy and beautiful, nothing to be ashamed of. You know how awesome your body is and how wonderful it can feel. Just like the guys, you’re free to experiment with both relational and casual sex. Having the option for […]
3 Things You Must Know Before You Commit
When you’re in love, you’re happy. You see all the great things about your darling. Even things that might irritate you if other people did them are endearing when your honey does them. It’s just great. Finally you’ve found the one. And you think about taking it to the next level. At the risk of […]