It’s easy to think about all the ways your parents didn’t do a great job teaching you about sexuality: the facts they avoided telling you, the times they freaked out or got judgy, the conversations they shut down, the things you wish you’d known. But they probably didn’t get it all wrong. Likely they told […]
A lot of people I speak with say they’d like to feel more comfortable talking about sexuality with their partner or their kids, but don’t know how to start. So I’ll help! Part of what makes it hard is that we don’t do it very often. Sex is private and not a suitable topic in polite company. But there are plenty of things about sex and its meaning to us that are worth thinking about, and worth talking about.
Every couple of weeks, I’ll post a TalkStarter you can use to get conversations going with people important to you. Some are suitable for couples; some for you and any adults you’re close to; some for parents with kids of various ages. Hopefully the TalkStarters will give you food for thought and food for conversation.
Maybe you’ve always meant to talk more with your kids about sex and dating, but kept putting it off. Now they’re teens or preteens and you know you need to open a conversation, but you don’t know where to start. How can you get beyond the wall of groans, eye-rolling, and “I know all that”? […]
Do you and your honey talk? Like, really talk, so you feel you know what’s going on in each other’s heads and hearts? For some couples, this comes naturally. Talking about the stuff that matters leads to wonderful, deep connection. Knowing what’s really going on with your partner makes it much less likely that you’ll […]
As Valentine’s Day approaches, some people are filled with romantic thoughts—and others with dread. If you and your honey are completely on the same page that Valentine’s Day is really special or not worth bothering with, you’re golden. In most couples, though, there are differences of opinion about how to celebrate the holiday. One may […]
Let’s face it: puberty and sex are awkward topics. And when you do gear yourself up to talk to your child about it, you probably get cringing and eye rolls. But you don’t want your kids to enter puberty and have no idea why their bodies are changing. Even if their school does a good […]
Part of me hesitates to say anything that touches on this emotionally charged election season. But so much of what’s been going on lately relates to how people treat one another sexually that I can’t ignore it—and neither should parents. It truly is a talk-able moment. Whatever your political views, the recent uproar about Donald […]
Every one of us has our own sexual story. Whether we were virgins when we got married, promiscuous at a young age, or anything in between, our experiences shape our view of ourselves and sexuality. We may regret our past or celebrate it, but it’s part of who we are. It’s also part of how […]
When you’re a teenager, pretty much everything your parents do is embarrassing. But anything they say or do related to sex? Especially if anyone else is around? OMG–mortifying. Even if it’s been a long time since you were a teen, I bet you can remember things your parents said about sex that embarrassed you. This […]
There’s been a lot in the news lately about who can use which restrooms. A recent federal mandate requires schools to permit students to use the restroom that matches their gender identity, even if that’s not the sex on their birth certificate. Whatever your views on the subject, it’s a great opener for talking with […]
There’s so much going on in your teen’s head and heart—but that doesn’t mean you’re hearing about it. When our darling little kids become adolescents, parents can feel that there’s a wall between us and them. We care so much about what’s going on inside them, but they may be reluctant to share. This is […]