It seems like every day there’s some sort of sex-related scandal in the news: sexual assaults on some campus, a politician or athlete having an affair, allegations of sexual harassment in some organization. These unhappy situations have one silver lining: They can create a topic of conversation with teens. Teens are most likely to resonate […]
Why You Should Cuddle Your Teen–Even If He’s Prickly
Teens can get prickly. Your cuddly little kid may have turned into a porcupine who bristles or rolls his eyes when you want to hug him. But that doesn’t mean you should stop being affectionate. You’ll do it differently than when she was younger—but please don’t stop all touch. Teens need human contact as much […]
TalkStarter for Younger Kids: In the Workroom
When kids are little, laying the groundwork for healthy sexuality is mostly a matter of how you handle small, everyday opportunities. Simply being matter-of-fact about words and ideas can go a long way. For instance, does your child ever help with household repairs or installing technology? Plumbing and electronic parts sometimes have “male” and “female” […]
The Myth of “Just Friends”
If you’ve kissed someone recently, can he/she be “just a friend”? If you’ve had sex with the person? I keep hearing young people say things like “Yeah, we hooked up a few times, but we’re just friends.” Or, “We have sex most weekends, but we’re really just friends.” Really?? “Just friends,” to my way of […]
Why Young Women Need a “No”
There’s a lot in the news about sexual assaults on college campuses. Outright assaults do happen (far too often). But a more common problem, I think, is young women (and sometimes guys) not wanting to say Yes but not knowing how to say No. Sometimes they’re not even sure it’s acceptable for them to […]
TalkStarter for Teens: LGBTQ Then and Now
One of the things that strikes me when I talk to young adults is their matter-of-factness about gender identity and especially sexual orientation. They are unfazed about many LGBTQ topics–in a way that would have been unimaginable 30 years ago. This gives parents an opening for some interesting conversations. At the large suburban high school […]
The Sexy Gift: When It Is (and Isn’t) a Good Idea
Maybe you’re thinking of giving your honey something sexy this year. Maybe lingerie? a toy? a movie? an experience (e.g. “coupon good for one evening of _____”)? Any of those can add some fun to your relationship—or it can create problems. How can you predict? A sexy gift is probably NOT a good idea: –if […]
What Women Need to Have Great Sex
In many couples I talk to, sex is a sore spot. Sometimes it’s a major source of contention. More often, the sex is pretty good when they have it, but they don’t have it very often. Many women report being too tired or distracted and just not all that interested; lovemaking can seem like just […]
TalkStarter for Adults: What Did You Know About Your Parents’ Love Life?
Were yours the sort of parents who danced in the kitchen and cuddled on the couch? Or the sort who never touched each other? Were they very discreet and un-touchy, but had a sparkle in their eyes sometimes when they looked at each other, so that, looking back, you can tell there was chemistry? Or […]
You, Me, & Someone Else: Ways Non-Monogamous Relationships Get Snarled
Last week, I described various forms of non-monogamous sexual relationships. This week, some thoughts on what makes these relationships more complicated than they might appear. Now, I know I’m irritating two groups here. Some folks will be appalled that I’m even talking about non-monogamous relationships. And the polyamorous community will think I’m uptight and judgmental […]
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