Suppose Amy is hurt about something Beth did—say, Beth blew her off at the last minute. Amy then talks to Caitlin about this and tells her how hurt and upset she is. Caitlin listens sympathetically, and Amy feels better. Or suppose Andrew is mad because Brian borrowed $20 and didn’t pay him back—again. Andrew complains […]
Everyone
What Makes It So Hard to Talk about Sex?
When I tell people that I write about sexuality, some are enthusiastic or curious. More often, people cringe, or get pale, or flush. Sex is such an uncomfortable topic that we have a physical reaction to the mere mention of it. Folks have sex and (hopefully) enjoy it…but talking about it is a whole ‘nuther […]
Four Keys to Being Romantic
This post first ran 8/30/14. What does “being romantic” mean to you? A walk on the beach? chocolates? flowers? a candlelit dinner? Any of those things can be romantic, or not, depending on several variables. If you want to do something romantic for your partner, consider these four things: Make sure it’s something he […]
4 Things You Should Never Tell Your Partner about Your Past
First posted 6/25/14 For the most part, I am a big fan of open communication between partners. If you’re in a serious relationship with someone, you want them to know a lot about you—the good and the bad. You want to be open enough that they can understand and love the true you. In most […]
Everyone Lives in a Two-Story House
Well, that’s not true if you’re talking about real estate. But if you’re talking about couples and relationships—yup. Let me back up. It’s not uncommon for couples to seek therapy where one partner doesn’t want to come, “because the problem isn’t me, it’s him/her.” Or where one person wants to come in with the partner […]
Is Your Inner Voice Ruining Your Sex Life?
Sex is supposed to feel good. Unfortunately, sometimes the internal voices we all have in our heads can get in the way. Even with a loved and loving partner, we can be running an internal soundtrack that keeps us from enjoying the experience. When it comes to sex, there are two main kinds of unhelpful […]
Guys: Here’s How to Impress the Girl You Like
I talk to a lot of young people about dating and sex these days. So I know that “dating” isn’t really the right word, because nobody goes on dates. People “hang out” or “hook up” or meet each other somewhere, but there’s little of that archaic “let’s go out for dinner and a movie” stuff. […]
TalkStarter for Adults: What Has Sex Meant to You at Different Times?
Sex is such a rich and complex part of the human experience. It means a lot to most people—and it can mean different things at different times in our lives. What has been your experience of sex? How has your view of sex changed at various stages of your life? Did its meaning change when […]
Feeling “Meh” About Sex Tonight? Your Relationship Status Matters
If the person next to you wants to have sex tonight and you’re not sure whether you’re in the mood, should you do it? It depends on who the person next to you is. Suppose the person who’s looking for action is someone you don’t know well or who just wants casual sex. If you […]
Mind Confused? Ask Your Body
Lots of times when we’re faced with a complicated decision, our heads can start to spin. Usually talking through the issues with a trusted friend and making a list of pros and cons can help. But sometimes, the decision just doesn’t settle. Maybe the possibilities are roughly equal and, in the scheme of things, not […]
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