• Home
  • Why We Need to Talk About Sex
  • About Keep the Talk Going
  • Workshops

Keep The Talk Going

Dedicated to Improving Communication about Relationships, Sexuality, and Intimacy

  • All Posts
  • TalkStarters
  • For Parents of Teens and Preteens
  • For Parents of Young Children
  • For All Adults
You are here: Home / Everyone / Four Keys to Being Romantic

Four Keys to Being Romantic

July 13, 2016 by Jill Whitney 1 Comment

 

daisies

This post first ran  8/30/14.

What does “being romantic” mean to you? A walk on the beach? chocolates? flowers? a candlelit dinner? Any of those things can be romantic, or not, depending on several variables. If you want to do something romantic for your partner, consider these four things:

Make sure it’s something he would really value. Demonstrate that you’re paying attention to your partner by giving a gift or choosing an activity that’s just right for him. If you’re too far off the mark, you can actually create a problem.

For instance, some women love chocolate, any chocolate. But (confession) I am a chocolate snob. It has to be really dark, and only some flavors are worth the calories. If my sweetie brought me a box of milk chocolate caramels, I would feel annoyed and a little hurt—doesn’t he know these have no appeal to me? (Fortunately he does know. 🙂 ) But you get the idea. Think about what would please your specific partner, not women or men in general.

It should be something special, something you don’t do all the time anyway. If you routinely have his favorite ice cream in the freezer, bringing home a pint would be a nice gesture, but it’s not particularly romantic. Ditto if you take the dog for a walk on the beach all the time, or go to a certain restaurant regularly. Still nice things, but not necessarily romantic. What would be a treat, something out of the ordinary?

Thinking outside the box can really make an impact. One great example of atypically “romantic” is the Big Bang Theory episode where Amy cancels their Valentine’s Day plans for a fancy dinner. She instead proposes that they stay home and watch one of Sheldon’s favorite fan-boy movies—because she knows that’s what he would really love. It’s romantic because she paid attention to him and generously put his needs ahead of her own.

Planning and intent matter. A major element of any romantic gesture is that you put some time and thought into doing something for your beloved. If, say, you pick up a random bunch of flowers at the supermarket while you’re getting milk, that’s nice, but the impact is limited. In contrast, suppose you listen carefully to her (or ask her friends) and learn that, say, daisies are her favorite; buy the favorite kind of daisies; get home from work early and arrange them in a beautiful vase on the nicely cleaned-up kitchen table, with a hand-written “I love you” note—that makes an impact. The effort you put in is what really makes her feel special.

Give your undivided attention. Part of why walks on the beach and fancy dinners are often romantic is that we’re with our partner and not distracted by anything else. You can make almost any situation more romantic if you tell your darling you’re turning off your phone so the two of you can just be together. He matters to you—help him feel that by making him the focus of your attention. Because that’s such a rarity these days, it has a lot of impact. And isn’t your sweetie worth it?

Filed Under: Everyone, Featured Tagged With: dating, love, relationships, romantic

Keep Me Posted

Get notified when a new article is posted - usually every other week.


Comments

  1. Marcia Whitney says

    July 14, 2016 at 1:43 pm

    I really liked this article, Jill. It gave me a few extra ideas for a special celebration I have coming up with my sweetie!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

clouds giving way to blue sky

My Toddler Touches…Down There. Should I Worry?

Should Busy Couples Schedule Sex?

red Solo cup

What Good Guys Need to Know about Consent

pink peony closeup

The Smart Way to Protect Kids’ Innocence

3 pumpkins painted with funny faces

TalkStarter for Adults: The Funny Side of the Birds & the Bees

school hallway

School Open House? Learn about Health Ed

crystal pedestal

If Your Partner Is Perfect, Don’t Get Married

campus lawn with students

How College Kids Really Feel about Hookups

Should Your Kids See You Naked?

Add Romance Novels to Your Teen’s Reading List

Read All Posts

Keep Me Posted


About the Author

Jill Whitney is a licensed marriage and family therapist dedicated to improving communication about relationships, sexuality, and intimacy. Learn more about her and her practice at Green Tree Professional Counseling.

Copyright © 2019 · Site Credits

Copyright © 2019 · Lifestyle Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in