Now that most of the holiday busy-ness is over, you may need a chance to regroup. Here’s an idea I love: “soaking in bed.”* This doesn’t involve actual water—just giving yourself time to savor the warmth of your bed for a while after you’ve had a good sleep. It’s like the long weekend-morning sleeps you […]
Everyone
Difficult Relatives? How to Keep Them from Driving You Crazy
Every family’s got at least one: a relative who behaves badly at holidays or who drives people crazy. Maybe it’s an uncle who drinks too much; an aunt who monopolizes conversations; a brother who never pitches in with the dishes—or anything else; a parent who asks intrusive questions; a cousin who delights in saying outrageous […]
Less Stress in 60 Seconds (Really!)
Let me guess: You’re unusually busy this time of year, with all the holiday prep and expectations on top of your regular stuff. You don’t have time for one more thing in your schedule, even if it’d help you relax. But there is a technique you can use to reduce your stress–in less than […]
When Is It OK to Be Jealous?
Occasionally, I run across someone whose jealousy is out of hand. More often, a friend or client will say “I don’t want to be a jealous person,” meaning they don’t want to ever feel jealous—which means that their feelings go underground and may bubble up in unpleasant ways. Jealousy is a normal feeling. It’s nearly […]
TalkStarter for Couples: Try a New Flavor?
I recently attended a continuing education class for therapists on sexuality in clinical practice. The instructor is part of a group of therapists who are known for being very open-minded about sexuality and therefore see a broad spectrum of human behavior. (Thanks to Kevin Gallagher, LCMHC of op.ti.ma in Burlington, VT for a great workshop!) […]
Equal-Opportunity Heartbreak
There are a lot of ways that guys and girls are different—social expectations, speed of sexual arousal, all sorts of things. But there’s one important way they’re not different: heartbreak. Despite the image that guys are tough and unemotional, their hearts work the same way as girls’. They are every bit as likely to moon […]
The Sexiest Book in the Bible
When people think about what the Bible has to say about sex, they tend to focus on sex-negative passages. (And much of religious negativity isn’t even in the Bible itself, but from subsequent teachings of religious organizations over the centuries…but that’s a separate topic.) Many people—even people of faith—don’t know about the part of the […]
TalkStarter for Adults: What Was Puberty Like for You?
For most of us, puberty was when our sense of ourselves as sexual beings really kicked in. It’s also a challenging time for a lot of kids. Sometimes things that were hard for us during puberty can have emotional effects that last for many years. So knowing what puberty was like for your partner […]
TalkStarter: Favorite Movie
What’s the sexiest (non-porn) movie you’ve ever watched? (or, your top two or three?) Was it sexy mostly because of the context (like, because you were 17 and were super-excited about the person you were sitting next to)? Or is the movie itself sexy? Let’s watch it together! (Make it a special date night, where […]
TalkStarter: How good a job did your parents do teaching you about the biology of procreation?
How did you learn how babies are made? Were parents and other adults in your life helpful, or did you mostly learn from peers and other sources? Did your parents give you a book about procreation? Did they read it with you? Or let you read it, and offer to answer questions? Did you feel […]
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