Were yours the sort of parents who danced in the kitchen and cuddled on the couch? Or the sort who never touched each other? Were they very discreet and un-touchy, but had a sparkle in their eyes sometimes when they looked at each other, so that, looking back, you can tell there was chemistry? Or […]
Everyone
You, Me, & Someone Else: Ways Non-Monogamous Relationships Get Snarled
Last week, I described various forms of non-monogamous sexual relationships. This week, some thoughts on what makes these relationships more complicated than they might appear. Now, I know I’m irritating two groups here. Some folks will be appalled that I’m even talking about non-monogamous relationships. And the polyamorous community will think I’m uptight and judgmental […]
You, Me, & Someone Else: Complicated Relationships
Most folks have one sexual relationship at a time (at least once we’re beyond the young-adult stage). But there are some couples in committed relationships who choose to involve one or more third parties in their sex lives. This is not for everyone, of course. But in the interest of letting you know “what’s out […]
Boost Your Relationship for a Great New Year
If you’re looking for a great year in 2015, be sure to include strengthening your relationship. Here’s an idea takes only a couple of minutes a day—and the payoff is huge. The concept: Each day, think of one thing you love or appreciate about your partner, and tell him or her. Any positive thing […]
Post-Holiday Recovery: Soaking in Bed
Now that most of the holiday busy-ness is over, you may need a chance to regroup. Here’s an idea I love: “soaking in bed.”* This doesn’t involve actual water—just giving yourself time to savor the warmth of your bed for a while after you’ve had a good sleep. It’s like the long weekend-morning sleeps you […]
Difficult Relatives? How to Keep Them from Driving You Crazy
Every family’s got at least one: a relative who behaves badly at holidays or who drives people crazy. Maybe it’s an uncle who drinks too much; an aunt who monopolizes conversations; a brother who never pitches in with the dishes—or anything else; a parent who asks intrusive questions; a cousin who delights in saying outrageous […]
Less Stress in 60 Seconds (Really!)
Let me guess: You’re unusually busy this time of year, with all the holiday prep and expectations on top of your regular stuff. You don’t have time for one more thing in your schedule, even if it’d help you relax. But there is a technique you can use to reduce your stress–in less than […]
When Is It OK to Be Jealous?
Occasionally, I run across someone whose jealousy is out of hand. More often, a friend or client will say “I don’t want to be a jealous person,” meaning they don’t want to ever feel jealous—which means that their feelings go underground and may bubble up in unpleasant ways. Jealousy is a normal feeling. It’s nearly […]
TalkStarter for Couples: Try a New Flavor?
I recently attended a continuing education class for therapists on sexuality in clinical practice. The instructor is part of a group of therapists who are known for being very open-minded about sexuality and therefore see a broad spectrum of human behavior. (Thanks to Kevin Gallagher, LCMHC of op.ti.ma in Burlington, VT for a great workshop!) […]
Equal-Opportunity Heartbreak
There are a lot of ways that guys and girls are different—social expectations, speed of sexual arousal, all sorts of things. But there’s one important way they’re not different: heartbreak. Despite the image that guys are tough and unemotional, their hearts work the same way as girls’. They are every bit as likely to moon […]