If you’re looking for a great year in 2015, be sure to include strengthening your relationship. Here’s an idea takes only a couple of minutes a day—and the payoff is huge.
The concept: Each day, think of one thing you love or appreciate about your partner, and tell him or her. Any positive thing is fair game, no matter how big or small. The more specific and personal, the better.
“Thank you for making this yummy dinner/cooking such healthy meals/making my favorite.”
“…providing for our family/working hard so we can live comfortably.”
“…keeping things clean/repaired around the house.”
“…putting up with me when I’m irritable.”
“…dealing with ____ so I don’t even have to think about it.”
“…managing money so responsibly.”
“…being such a good parent/setting limits in a kind way/teaching the kids values.”
“…checking in when you know I’m having a tough day.”
“…making holidays/birthdays special.”
”… reading to the kids every night.”
“…giving me time to focus on work/hobbies/things that are important to me.”
“…helping me talk through issues at work/with my family/other.”
“…encouraging me to live my values/follow my dreams/be a better person.”
“I love the way you look in those jeans.”
“…the nape of your neck.”
“…the way you cuddle with me at night/on the couch.”
“…your smile/the sound of your laugh/the way you make me laugh.”
“…how kind you are to elders/waiters/children/animals.”
“…the way you can just tell when I need a hug/some space.”
“…how you do ____ with me even though it’s not your favorite.”
This works to strengthen your relationship because it takes the focus off routine complaints and shortcomings (we all have ‘em) and puts it on the good stuff. Stating appreciations makes already-good relationships better—and helps stuck/unhappy relationships break out of the negative rut. Paying attention to positive things:
- Helps you notice all the good things your partner does. Probably there are a lot of things you’re taking for granted. You fell in love with this person for a reason! The positives deserve at least as much attention as the annoying or not-so-great parts.
- Makes your partner feel loves and appreciated. When we feel appreciated for our efforts, we tend to do more of them and to feel better about ourselves. We also feel warmly toward the person who (sincerely) compliments us—and more likely to notice their positive attributes in return. Once the loving energy starts flowing, everyone benefits.
Marcia Whitney says
Thanks, Jill, for another great post! This one is a keeper, and to be shared.