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Dedicated to Improving Communication about Relationships, Sexuality, and Intimacy

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TalkStarter: How Your Early Sex Life Affects Your Kid

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Every one of us has our own sexual story. Whether we were virgins when we got married, promiscuous at a young age, or anything in between, our experiences shape our view of ourselves and sexuality. We may regret our past or celebrate it, but it’s part of who we are. It’s also part of how […]

But What Do They Do in Bed?

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I hear that question sometimes from people who are uncomfortable about other people’s sexual orientation or gender identity. Even people who try to be open-minded may not really understand what it’s like to be gay or trans, and they’re a little freaked out because they can’t imagine what gays or transgender people do sexually. If you’re […]

My Body May Be Aroused–But I Still Don’t Want to Sleep with You

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So there’s this interesting truth about women’s bodies: physical arousal and desire aren’t the same thing. It’s possible to want to have sex with your partner even if your body isn’t hot and bothered yet (because you love the person, want the connection, whatever). It’s also possible to experience all the signs of physical arousal […]

TalkStarter: Parents Are So Embarrassing

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When you’re a teenager, pretty much everything your parents do is embarrassing. But anything they say or do related to sex? Especially if anyone else is around? OMG–mortifying. Even if it’s been a long time since you were a teen, I bet you can remember things your parents said about sex that embarrassed you. This […]

How Triangles Could Be Hurting Your Relationships

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Suppose Amy is hurt about something Beth did—say, Beth blew her off at the last minute. Amy then talks to Caitlin about this and tells her how hurt and upset she is. Caitlin listens sympathetically, and Amy feels better. Or suppose Andrew is mad because Brian borrowed $20 and didn’t pay him back—again. Andrew complains […]

What Makes It So Hard to Talk about Sex?

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When I tell people that I write about sexuality, some are enthusiastic or curious. More often, people cringe, or get pale, or flush. Sex is such an uncomfortable topic that we have a physical reaction to the mere mention of it. Folks have sex and (hopefully) enjoy it…but talking about it is a whole ‘nuther […]

TalkStarter for Teens: So, What Are You Reading These Days?

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Is the stuff your kids read having an impact on their understanding of sex and relationships? Probably. Whether that’s a good thing or not so good may depend on the material—and whether you’ve given them context that helps them put their reading in perspective. Some teens are big readers; others may rarely pick up a […]

Does Your Teen Know This Crucial Fact about Sex?

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We live in a world where we—and our kids—are bombarded by sex. TV, movies, and other media are chock-full of casual sex, jokes about sex, pitying comments about the few poor unlucky souls who aren’t getting laid…. It seems like every (non-pitiful) young person you see on screen is having sex—a lot of sex—often casually–and […]