As much as possible, it’s helpful for parents to work as a team on the birds and the bees (and everything else). Kids benefit from knowing the views of both parents and from being able to ask questions of whomever happens to be around at the moment. I know, that’s not the way it goes […]
Raising Decent Kids in the #MeToo Era
You’re trying to raise your kids to be good people. You want them to respect themselves and others. You want them to be responsible, including about relationships and, when the time comes, sex. That was hard enough before; since #MeToo aimed a spotlight on sexual harassment and assault, you may be even more concerned about […]
Do You Want Your Kids to Learn from Porn?
Maybe you read the recent New York Times Magazine article about a program, nicknamed Porn Literacy, that aims to help teens think critically about what they see in pornography. If you haven’t read it, you should, especially if you’ve got kids over the age of 8. (More later on why I mention that age.) It […]
Caught between “Uptight” and “Slut”
It’s a tough time to be a teenager. That’s true in a lot of ways, of course. But one big challenge for girls, especially, is navigating the mixed messages they get from peers about sex. On the one hand, a girl who sleeps with too many partners may be called a “slut”—whatever “too many” means […]
The Joy of the “Happy Buzz”
How much is the right amount to drink when you’re out to have a good time? Do you know how many drinks you need so you’re happy and relaxed—but not wasted, sick, or out of control? I call this middle ground your “happy buzz.” It’s where you’re feeling the positive effects of alcohol (a little […]
What Guys Mean by “Hilarious”–and Why Parents Should Care
How do young men feel about date rape and consent? While young women have become increasingly vocal about the need for clear consent to sex, guys may have mixed feelings. Some are fully on board with wanting to treat women with respect and making sure a potential partner is ready for sexual activity. Yet guys […]
What Young People Wish They’d Known Earlier about Sex
There’s a ton of information out there for teens and young adults today. Between sex ed at school, on-line resources, sexually active friends, chat rooms, and pornography, you might think that young people know everything they need to about sex. But it turns out, they don’t. When I asked 900 young adults (age 18 to […]
TalkStarter: How Your Early Sex Life Affects Your Kid
Every one of us has our own sexual story. Whether we were virgins when we got married, promiscuous at a young age, or anything in between, our experiences shape our view of ourselves and sexuality. We may regret our past or celebrate it, but it’s part of who we are. It’s also part of how […]
TalkStarter: Parents Are So Embarrassing
When you’re a teenager, pretty much everything your parents do is embarrassing. But anything they say or do related to sex? Especially if anyone else is around? OMG–mortifying. Even if it’s been a long time since you were a teen, I bet you can remember things your parents said about sex that embarrassed you. This […]
TalkStarter for Teens: So, What Are You Reading These Days?
Is the stuff your kids read having an impact on their understanding of sex and relationships? Probably. Whether that’s a good thing or not so good may depend on the material—and whether you’ve given them context that helps them put their reading in perspective. Some teens are big readers; others may rarely pick up a […]