Consent is a complex topic. In theory, it’s easy: No means No and Yes means Yes. In reality, things can be murkier. Minds can change; someone can think a partner’s mind has changed when it hasn’t; there may be mixed signals. One way signals can be mixed is when a person’s body is aroused but […]
Everyone
What Swing Dance Taught Me about Relationships
When I’m not being a writer and a therapist, I go dancing. Well, not all the time…but a lot. In particular, I go swing dancing. It’s a blast, it’s great exercise, and it’s taught me more about being part of a couple. The culture in social swing dance is that everyone dances with everyone, regardless […]
What’s So Romantic About Walks on the Beach?
When you think of romantic things to do with someone you love, walking on the beach is probably on the short list. But what if you don’t live near a beach? No worries! If you know what makes beach walks romantic, you can apply the ideas anywhere, any time of year. And if you do […]
What’s the Right Age to Have Sex for the First Time?
A lot of people worry that they’re out of step with what’s “right” or “normal” if they don’t do certain sexual things by certain ages. You may think you should “lose your virginity” by a specific age or there’s something wrong with you. (More later on why I put that in quotes.) You may visualize some […]
When Should You Feel Guilty?
It never feels good to feel guilty. Most of us like to think of ourselves as good people who do the right thing and treat other people well. So when we’ve done something wrong, or worry we have, it’s unpleasant. But how do you know if you should feel guilty? How do you know if […]
Should I Wait for “The One”?
People who are looking for a relationship often wonder how they’ll know when they’ve found the perfect partner, The One of all the people in the world with whom they’ll have years of bliss. We’ve all seen the movies; we know how it’s supposed to go. You may be dating, even engaged, to a pretty […]
The Under-Appreciated Joys of Anticipation
We live in a world of immediate gratification. We want to watch the next episode now, we want our package delivered today, we get antsy if we have to wait in line for more than a few seconds. I understand the feeling; there’s always so much to do that waiting can feel like a waste. […]
Honoring the Love in Your Life
This time of year, love is on people’s minds. You may be thinking a lot about your sweetie, or wishing you had a sweetie. But a romantic partner isn’t the only source of love in anyone’s life. This is a great season to reflect with gratitude on the love you’ve experienced, in every form. Over […]
“I Wish I’d Said That at the Time”
It happens all the time, right? Someone says something that throws you off guard, and in the moment you just can’t think of anything to say. Or you say something, but thinking about it afterward, you wish you’d said something different. Too often, people feel they’ve missed the moment and there’s no going back. In […]
When Your Body Language Says “No”
In the recent case involving Aziz Ansari, his date said she used “clear non-verbal clues” to indicate that she wasn’t comfortable with the sexual activities they engaged in. But those clues may not have been clear to Ansari. No one who wasn’t in the room that night can know what really happened. Maybe she was […]
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