The other day I was chatting with a friend I don’t see often but with whom I’m friends on LinkedIn. He said something about it being lucky his company’s filters didn’t block my “uh…interesting posts.” He meant, of course, what I write about sexuality and especially the importance of talking about intimacy and sexual health […]
When You Want to Make Love (Not Just Have Sex)
“Making love” used to be a euphemism for having sex, back when people tried to avoiding saying “sex” (unless they were referring to gender). Now, we talk about sex in so many ways that “making love” sounds sort of quaint. But it’s quaint in a good way—like building a wood fire or playing a board […]
Should Busy Couples Schedule Sex?
Your lives are super-busy. What with jobs, taking care of the kids, dealing with the house, and just daily life, you hardly get any time alone with your partner. Even when you do, one or both of you may be so wiped out that sex just isn’t happening. That’s the reality…but it rots. You aren’t […]
If Your Partner Is Perfect, Don’t Get Married
When you hear someone say the person they’re dating is perfect, you might be happy for them. Me, I’m happy they’re happily in love—but my second thought is, please don’t get married. At least, not yet. Because no one is perfect. Someone might be an awesome person and an excellent fit for you, but they […]
How (Casual) Sex Is Like Ice Cream
Ice cream is awesome, right? I’m not a big dessert person, but ice cream…well, it’s hard to resist. Still, I eat ice cream far less often than I’d like to because I don’t like the consequences. Unlike my cousin Bert, one of those lucky, lots-of-exercise people who can eat whatever he wants without gaining weight, […]
TalkStarter for Adults: How Do You Rate the 3 Parts of Romantic Love?
We all have a sort of vague idea of what “romantic love” means. But there are folks who think about love for a living (really!) who can help the rest of us find language to understand and express what we feel—and what we want. Cornell professor Robert J. Sternberg developed what he calls the “Triangle […]
TalkStarter for Adults: What Was the Most Helpful Thing Your Parents Said about Sex?
It’s easy to think about all the ways your parents didn’t do a great job teaching you about sexuality: the facts they avoided telling you, the times they freaked out or got judgy, the conversations they shut down, the things you wish you’d known. But they probably didn’t get it all wrong. Likely they told […]
TalkStarter for Teens: What Was Hard for You as a Teen
Maybe you’ve always meant to talk more with your kids about sex and dating, but kept putting it off. Now they’re teens or preteens and you know you need to open a conversation, but you don’t know where to start. How can you get beyond the wall of groans, eye-rolling, and “I know all that”? […]
Ghosting, Other Dating Trends, and Humans
Halloween ghosts I’m good with. On real ghosts—spirits who haven’t crossed to the other side—I try to keep an open mind. But ghosting in relationships? That brings out the judgmental in me. In case you’ve missed it, “ghosting” is a “dating trend.” (More later on why I put that in quotes.) It’s when a person […]
How Often Should Couples Have Sex?
When people wonder how often they “should” have sex, one of two things is likely going on. Sometimes they’re anxious about whether they’re “normal.” We talk so little about healthy sexuality that many of us don’t know where we stand, so we worry. The good news on this: The range of “normal” in human sexual […]
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