You may have heard people talking about their “preferred gender pronoun.” Or noticed the trend to using “they” or “their” (rather than “he,” “his,” “she,” or “her”) to refer to a single individual. What’s going on? Why the fuss about pronouns? Why mess with the English language? If you or someone close to you is […]
For Parents of Teens and Preteens
What to Say When Your Kid Comes Out
It’s one of those conversations that’s always a watershed moment. When someone is gay, bisexual, transgender, or otherwise LGBTQ, there comes a time to tell the family. I’ve never met an LGBTQ person for whom this conversation was no big deal. For most, it’s somewhere between anxiety-producing and terrifying. Will they hate me? shame me? […]
Birds & Bees TalkStarter: The Kavanaugh Accusations
Whatever your views on the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court and the recent accusations against him, one thing is certain: It’s an excellent opportunity for a conversation with your teen about sex and consent. Some teens may be aware of the headlines; others may be oblivious. If your teen hasn’t mentioned anything […]
It’s a Great Day for the Birds & the Bees
No matter the age of your child, today is a terrific day to take one small step toward the quality of their eventual sex life. (Which, yes, someday they will actually have….) It’s World Sexual Health Day—so go for it! Here are some easy ways to get the birds and the bees convo started (or […]
“What If I Get My Period at School?”
Going back to school can trigger a lot of anxieties in teens and tweens: worries about social dynamics, finding classrooms, and how demanding teachers will be. If your kid is a daughter, she may also be worried about something more intimate: the horrible possibility that she might get her period at school and not know […]
If Your Body Is Aroused, Does that Mean You Consent?
Consent is a complex topic. In theory, it’s easy: No means No and Yes means Yes. In reality, things can be murkier. Minds can change; someone can think a partner’s mind has changed when it hasn’t; there may be mixed signals. One way signals can be mixed is when a person’s body is aroused but […]
What’s the Right Age to Have Sex for the First Time?
A lot of people worry that they’re out of step with what’s “right” or “normal” if they don’t do certain sexual things by certain ages. You may think you should “lose your virginity” by a specific age or there’s something wrong with you. (More later on why I put that in quotes.) You may visualize some […]
Mentioning the “M Word” to Your Kids
So, I can’t believe I almost missed International Masturbation Month. But there’s still time for me to write this post—and for you to use the word in front of your kids.* It’s not as difficult as you might think! (*And, of course, there’s no deadline. This is just an easy way to bring up the […]
When Your Kid Says “Don’t Tell Dad”
As much as possible, it’s helpful for parents to work as a team on the birds and the bees (and everything else). Kids benefit from knowing the views of both parents and from being able to ask questions of whomever happens to be around at the moment. I know, that’s not the way it goes […]
How Compliant Should Your Child Be?
When your 3-year-old won’t get dressed in the morning or your 6-year-old refuses to eat anything but chicken nuggets, you may long for compliance. You want a child who cooperates, who listens to parental wisdom without endless arguing, who just does what you say, dang it. Because you want what’s best for your child and […]
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