Every girl should know about periods well before she starts puberty. (By age 9, please—it’s terrifying for girls who aren’t told what to expect.) But there are many other aspects of sexual development that girls also want to be informed about.

The young adults I surveyed mentioned many things they wish they’d known sooner or that they were grateful their parents had told them. Here are things your daughter may be wondering about. (Next week, I’ll have a similar list for parents of sons.) If you haven’t gotten to it earlier, I recommend covering all these topics between the ages of 9 and 13. Feel free to use a book, such as What’s Happening to My Body, to as a resource. But don’t rely on the book to do it all for you; personal conversations mean a lot to kids.

Discuss with your daughter:

“Why my body is changing, not just ‘because it does as you get older’” (Reason: It’s changing so she can have babies someday.)

That the changes of puberty happen over time, not all at once

That the timing of puberty is different for everyone

That she may have mixed feelings about the changes happening to her body

To expect pubic hair; that bumps will appear on her vulva before hair sprouts

That her urethra and vagina are separate, and where they are

That period blood may be red or brownish

Where in your house she can find pads (Buy them by the time she’s 9.)

That getting her period means it’s possible for her to become pregnant

That pads come in different absorbencies

When to use pantiliners

That tampons are an option (Tampons have nothing to do with virginity.)

How to use tampons

PMS/premenstrual syndrome: what it can feel like, how to cope with volatile feelings

How much discomfort is normal during periods, and what merits medical attention (If she’s so uncomfortable she’s missing school or other activities, talk to a doctor.)

Ovulation cycles

What’s normal vaginal discharge vs. what’s a sign of infection

That the vagina is self-cleaning; that soap inside the vagina can cause problems

The symptoms and treatment of yeast infections

Vaginal lubrication (natural lubrication, plus the possibility of using lube)

That women sometimes use the Pill even though they’re not sexually active

The location and purpose of the clitoris

That it’s ok to feel aroused

That it’s ok to masturbate

The anatomy and physiology of guys, including what their genitals looks like

That people’s genitals don’t all look the same; there’s natural variability and different sizes

That males produce semen and ejaculate; how ejaculation works

“That sexuality is normal”

How sex works/what happens during sex

“That the hymen is not some film that completely blocks your vagina and has to be busted through”’

Resources on orientation and gender identity; that not everyone is straight

“That confidence can be more attractive to people than appearance”

How to be healthy, because healthy people are more confident and attractive

“How to love my body and the changes it is constantly going through”