Sex is such a rich and complex part of the human experience. It means a lot to most people—and it can mean different things at different times in our lives.

What has been your experience of sex? How has your view of sex changed at various stages of your life? Did its meaning change when you were with different partners, or in different situations?

Just to get your ideas flowing, here are some possible meanings that sex might have. Which of them apply to you, or applied to you at some point? Are there other words that come to mind?

Pleasure

Fun

Passion, energy, enthusiasm

Experimentation

Freedom

Duty

Shame or guilt

Rebellion

Revenge

Challenge

Proving something

Variety

Stability

Conception/making a baby

Feeling powerful

Giving in/giving up

Fear/vulnerability

Insecurity/inadequacy

Trust/vulnerability

Connection

Commitment

Affection

Gift to a partner

Celebration of my body

Disconnection from my body

Escape or numbing

Comfort

Spirituality/profound experience

Embracing my animal nature

Playfulness

Creativity

Revitalization

Healing

Joy

If you have a partner, ask what sex means to him or her and has meant over the years. How do your journeys differ? How are they similar? Does the meaning of sex change from one day to another? Are you in more or less the same place right now? (It’s perfectly fine if you’re not–it just can be helpful to recognize your different experiences.)

You might also talk about this with your close friends. What did sex mean when they were teens? young adults? now? What themes are similar, and which are different? How have those changes in meaning affected who each of you is today?