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You are here: Home / Featured / What Does “Do Me” Really Mean?

What Does “Do Me” Really Mean?

July 2, 2014 by Jill Whitney

Do Me Graffiti

I saw graffiti the other day that got me thinking. It said, simply, “DO ME.” What does that expression say about how young people view sex?

Two things struck me:

It’s a command, not a request or invitation. Sure, it was graffiti, no doubt written by someone whose goal was to shock travelers or demonstrate his coolness or something. But the expression is used in other contexts. Its brevity and directness come across—to me anyway—as entitled and demanding. Couldn’t it at least be “Would you do me?”

There’s really no other person in there, no “us.” Other expressions that come to mind (“let’s mess around,” “let’s do it,” “let’s make love,” “let’s f**k”…) all have an implied “we” in them—a joint activity. “Do me” is about the pleasure of only one person, where the other party is almost a tool to achieving the person’s goal. Yuck! If it’s only about you, then take matters into your own hands. If you want to involve another person, then treat her/him like a human being.

So, 20-somethings, what about it? Am I missing something here? Is “do me” only a joke, so one-sided that no one takes it seriously? Or does it speak to something that’s a little out of whack about how people initiate sex these days? I’d love to hear what young adults have to say about this.

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About the Author

Jill Whitney is a licensed marriage and family therapist dedicated to improving communication about relationships, sexuality, and intimacy. Learn more about her and her practice at Green Tree Professional Counseling.

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