For most of us, puberty was when our sense of ourselves as sexual beings really kicked in. It’s also a challenging time for a lot of kids. Sometimes things that were hard for us during puberty can have emotional effects that last for many years. So knowing what puberty was like for your partner and/or your friends can help you understand them better. Here are some things that might get a conversation going:

Were you an early bloomer? a late bloomer? How did you feel about that timing?

When did you start and stop getting taller? Did the timing of your growth spurts make you self-conscious?

How well prepared did you feel for the changes of puberty? Were you freaked out? calm? Was your family supportive?

How old were you when you started being really interested in girls/guys?

Were there any aspects of puberty that were particularly awful for you? For example, painful period cramps, severe acne, feeling out of sync with your peers?

Where were you in the social hierarchy of your middle school? What was that like?

How do you think your experience of puberty colors your world view and how you feel about yourself today?