For each of us, all sorts of things can trigger sexual feelings and memories. Smells, sensations, words—and music. A lot of what we find sexy comes from our distant past, including childhood. Our arousal patterns—what does it for each of us—are unique and complex. Some elements we may not even be consciously aware of. But if you think about it, I bet you can name some songs that link to sex in your mind.

What music was on during your teen and young adult years as your sexuality was emerging? Are there certain songs that bring you back? A soundtrack to a movie that turned you on? Something that was on the radio when you made out with your high school honey? A dance tune that got your blood (and libido) pumping?

Ask your partner what songs he or she associates with sex, making out, being excited, lusting, etc. (Don’t be jealous of early experiences because you weren’t part of them; they’re part of what made your SO who he or she is. Instead, just be curious.)

Use the songs you each come up with to add some zip to your bedroom. You might have them on in the background when you have a romantic evening, as a subtle way to get the juices flowing. Or you might decide to role-play being teenagers again. What would each of you wear? What scenario would you play (a first time having sex, maybe, or being really aroused and not having sex, or some other early or imagined experience)? Would different songs fit different parts of the evening? However it works for you, the music you play can add to the way you play together.