A lot of the people who come to my workshops on talking with kids about sexuality feel like they don’t know where to start. But most of them have already taken at least some steps toward providing information and/or opening a dialogue. You probably have, too, even if the whole topic still feels a bit […]
The “Date-Rape Avoidance Plan” You Can Start in Preschool
If your kids are young, you may not be thinking much about their sexuality. But keeping the long view in mind can help you teach subtle lessons that will pay off when they’re older. For instance, children need to learn that each person is responsible for his or her own body. If your son does […]
Instead of “The Talk,” Try “The Drip Method”
When your parents told you about sex (if they did), was it all at once? A big, overwhelming “The Talk” that left you feeling like a deer in headlights—overwhelmed, and unable to absorb everything they’d said? Give credit where due: Having one big Talk is much better than saying nothing. (And if your parents talked […]
The Key to Raising Kids Whose Sexual Choices Are Right for Them
Parents have many thoughts and feelings about their kids and sex. We may not want to think about it at all; we may wish one thing or another for them; we may not know quite what we’d like. But I think all parents would agree on one goal: That our kids make sexual choices that […]
Young Parents: Not So Happy With Your Marriage? You’re Not Alone
Before your first child was born, you probably knew, in a vague way, that kids are a lot of work. But few of us are prepared for the reality. The depth of the sleep deprivation, the near-constant demands on your time, how draining it is to always be on call…. Parenting gets somewhat less exhausting […]
How to Guarantee Your Kid Won’t Talk to You About Sex
Talking about sex is awkward, and many parents would prefer to avoid it if they could. Well, there are several techniques you can use that virtually guarantee your kid will get his or her information about sex and relationships from other sources, letting you off the hook. If you really want to convey “this topic […]
TalkStarter for Younger Kids: In the Workroom
When kids are little, laying the groundwork for healthy sexuality is mostly a matter of how you handle small, everyday opportunities. Simply being matter-of-fact about words and ideas can go a long way. For instance, does your child ever help with household repairs or installing technology? Plumbing and electronic parts sometimes have “male” and “female” […]
Why Being Nice May Not Be Such a Good Idea
If your parents were like mine, they taught you to “be nice”—to speak nicely, play nicely ( = sharing, not hitting other kids, not grabbing), generally to be polite and accommodating. For the most part this is a good thing—but niceness can go too far. “Nice” becomes a problem when it’s a code word for […]
TalkStarter for Kids: The Tool in the Toiletries Aisle
A lot of sexual topics parents might want to address with kids are emotionally charged (for us, anyway). So many areas involve choices and morality and relationships, which are complex and can feel intimidating to talk about. Fortunately, there’s one sex-related topic that has no moral component whatsoever: periods. Virtually every adult woman under […]
TalkStarter: Bodies at the Beach and Pool
The next time you’re at the beach or the pool with your child, take a look at the bodies all around. You might be able to start a conversation with your kid simply by commenting on that. “It’s so interesting, all the different shapes and sizes people’s bodies have.” That may be the end of […]
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