I was fortunate that the schools my kids attended did a very good job teaching sex education. The program was spread over several years, moving from puberty information in fifth grade to progressively complex topics into high school. There was age-appropriate material on making good choices in all kinds of relationships, including romantic/sexual ones, […]
Celebrities, Nude Photos, and the Rest of Us
My heart goes out to the celebrities whose private photos were recently hacked. Maybe they could have been more careful about security—but so could most of us. I feel bad enough for celebs who have an old compromising public photo surface years later—embarrassing, but the result of a choice. This recent hacking, though, is a […]
Want to Be Romantic? Four Essential Elements
What does “being romantic” mean to you? A walk on the beach? chocolates? flowers? a candlelit dinner? Any of those things can be romantic, or not, depending on several variables. If you want to do something romantic for your partner, consider these four things: Make sure it’s something he would really value. Demonstrate that you’re […]
“Effective Consent” for College Students—and Anyone
Many colleges now have policies that clarify acceptable and unacceptable sexual behavior. Skidmore College (Saratoga Springs, NY) developed the policy below to define what constitutes “effective consent” to sexual activity. I encourage parents of teens, especially those heading off to college, to read this, have their kids read it, and discuss it. Thanks, Skidmore, both […]
The Sex Talk You Need to Have Before Your Kid Heads Off to College
TRIGGER WARNING Sure, your kid heading off to college already knows a lot about sex and may already be sexually active (though many aren’t yet…). Hopefully you’ve been talking about sex and choices for years. But things change as they move from high school to college, and it’s time for a review and update. Key […]
TalkStarter: Bodies at the Beach and Pool
The next time you’re at the beach or the pool with your child, take a look at the bodies all around. You might be able to start a conversation with your kid simply by commenting on that. “It’s so interesting, all the different shapes and sizes people’s bodies have.” That may be the end of […]
Gender: It Ain’t What It Used to Be
If you think of a person’s gender as either M or F, you’re probably over 30. In my recent survey of young adults, I asked their gender: “male, female, or other _______.” I was glad I allowed room for “other,” because the 900 respondents named 15 different genders. Most identify as male or female, of […]
Filters: Useful—But Not Always
One of the interesting things I’ve learned as I’ve begun writing about sexuality is that computer filters do not help us have good conversations about sexuality. When I email someone about the research I’m doing or about a workshop I might run for them, I’ve learned to leave out the “e” in sex and sexuality—or […]
TalkStarter: Favorite Movie
What’s the sexiest (non-porn) movie you’ve ever watched? (or, your top two or three?) Was it sexy mostly because of the context (like, because you were 17 and were super-excited about the person you were sitting next to)? Or is the movie itself sexy? Let’s watch it together! (Make it a special date night, where […]
TalkStarter: My Favorite Book for Teaching Kids How Babies Get Made
One of the easiest, most effective ways to start talking about sex with young kids is to read a book with them. My favorite is “Where Did I Come From?” by Peter Mayle. It’s been around for a while—for good reason–and it’s suitable for ages 3 to 10. Its cartoony illustrations of a pudgy, anatomically […]